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BRISTOL, CT—Expressing confusion and annoyance upon reading the phrase, sources confirmed Wednesday that someone at ESPN thinks it’s okay to call something the “Confed Cup” with no further context or explanation. The Onion Tweet This Post
Posts Tagged ‘thinks’
ESPN Thinks It Can Just Casually Call Something ‘Confed Cup’
Posted by admin on June 19th, 2013
Posted in Breaking News 
Tags: 'Confed, call, Casually, Cup', ESPN, just, Something, thinks 
No Comments »Financial Sector Thinks It’s About Ready To Ruin World Again
Posted by admin on June 18th, 2013
NEW YORK—Claiming that enough time had surely passed since they last caused a global economic meltdown, top executives from the U.S. financial sector told reporters Monday that they are just about ready to completely destroy the world again. The Onion Tweet This Post
Bob Dole Says He, Reagan Might Not Win in Today’s GOP, Thinks Party Should Close for Repairs
Posted by admin on May 28th, 2013
Bob Dole says he couldn’t make it as a Republican today – and a tilt toward more conservative voters in the key Iowa Republican caucuses may bear him out. “Could people like Bob Dole, even Ronald Reagan – could you make it in today’s Republican… Tweet This Post
‘Help Has To Be On The Way Now,’ Thinks Syrian Man Currently Being Gassed
Posted by admin on April 30th, 2013
HOMS, SYRIA—As Syrian military aircraft rained chlorine gas on his community Tuesday, local man Amir Najjar, 36, reportedly assured himself that military and humanitarian aid from foreign governments must certainly be racing toward the country at th… The Onion Tweet This Post
Sparrow Thinks It Might Have Caught Bird Flu After Puking Seeds All Morning
Posted by admin on April 30th, 2013
ANKENY, IA—After vomiting seeds for three straight hours this morning, a local sparrow told reporters it is worried it might have contracted the deadly H7N9 avian influenza. The Onion Tweet This Post
Stripper Thinks Customer Flirting With Her
Posted by admin on April 10th, 2013
PROVIDENCE, RI—Noting his furtive glances, suggestive body language, and the fact that he’s been laughing at all of her jokes, local exotic dancer Mandy Galloway, 26, told reporters Wednesday that she believes a customer at the Foxy Lady strip… The Onion Tweet This Post
U.S. Ambassador To Cambodia Thinks Diplomatic Immunity Covers What He Just Did
Posted by admin on April 2nd, 2013
PHNOM PENH—Wiping blood from his hands as he spoke with reporters Monday, U.S. ambassador to Cambodia William E. The Onion Tweet This Post
Posted in Breaking News Tags: Ambassador, Cambodia, Covers, Diplomatic, immunity, just, thinks, U.S. No Comments »U.S. Ambassador To Cambodia Thinks Diplomatic Immunity Covers What He Just Did
Posted by admin on April 2nd, 2013
PHNOM PENH—Wiping blood from his hands as he spoke with reporters Monday, U.S. ambassador to Cambodia William E. The Onion Tweet This Post
Posted in Breaking News Tags: Ambassador, Cambodia, Covers, Diplomatic, immunity, just, thinks, U.S. No Comments »Area Woman Thinks All Of Her Friends Should Be Comedians
Posted by admin on March 22nd, 2013
BENTON HARBOR, MI—According to statements made this week by office manager Caitlin Mooney, 26, her friends are all so funny that they should be comedians. The Onion Tweet This Post
NOW the military-industrial complex thinks the system is broken?
Posted by admin on March 8th, 2013
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