Posts Tagged ‘good’

Obama exhorts good deeds by Morehouse graduates

ATLANTA (AP) — President Barack Obama, in a soaring commencement address on work, sacrifice and opportunity, on Sunday told graduates of historically black Morehouse College to seize the power of their example as black men graduating from college and use it to improve people's lives. Tweet This Post

Call From Daycare Can’t Be Good

HARRISBURG, PA—Speculating that the rest of her day will now definitely take a turn for the worse, local mother Nicole Mendlow confirmed Friday that an incoming call she is currently receiving from her 4-year-old son’s daycare center can… The Onion Tweet This Post

Good News for Doctors and Budget Hawks

The price tag for repealing a flawed Medicare doctors’ pay formula will remain near a recent record low, according to a new estimate from the independent Congressional Budget Office released on Tuesday. It’s good news for the physicians and lawmakers who hope to see a permanent “doc fix” in 2013, and suggests the momentum behind [...]

Victorious Tiger Woods: ‘I Hit The Ball Well, My Life Is A Dark And Twisted Struggle, And I Made Some Good Putts’

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, FL—During the trophy presentation at this year’s Players Championship, tournament winner Tiger Woods told the assembled crowd that he struck the ball well the entire week, that since his public meltdown four years ago his li… The Onion Tweet This Post

Man Does Good Job Getting Drunk

ETNA, PA—Moments after watching him finish his fifth alcoholic beverage at the Crow’s Nest Bar and Grill Thursday night, sources reported local man Chris Serna, 32, had completed the task of getting drunk with a high degree of efficiency and s… The Onion Tweet This Post