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SALEM, OR—Sources confirmed that local man Paul Gallagher emailed friends a link to an eight-minute-long YouTube video Wednesday, evidently experiencing some kind of psychotic break that left him deluded enough to believe people would want to watch … The Onion Tweet This Post
Posts Tagged ‘Fucking’
Friend Who Sent Link To 8-Minute YouTube Video Must Be Fucking Delusional
Posted by admin on May 15th, 2013
Posted in Breaking News 
Tags: 8Minute, Delusional, Friend, Fucking, link, Must, sent, video, YouTube 
No Comments »Sight Of Coworkers’ Stupid Fucking Faces Endured Yet Again
Posted by admin on May 13th, 2013
WASHINGTON—After a brief two-day reprieve from looking at them day in and day out, Americans across the nation were yet again forced to endure the sight of their coworkers’ stupid fucking faces as they entered the office Monday morning. The Onion Tweet This Post
Posted in Breaking News Tags: again, coworkers, endured, Faces, Fucking, sight, Stupid No Comments »FAA Report: Spirit Airlines Is The Fucking Worst
Posted by admin on May 9th, 2013
WASHINGTON—According to a new report released Tuesday by the Federal Aviation Administration, Spirit Airlines, the American low-cost air carrier, is the absolute fucking worst and is actually a giant fucking rip-off. The Onion Tweet This Post
Couple Making Out At Bus Stop Like It’s Fucking Paris
Posted by admin on April 11th, 2013
CHICAGO—According to locals waiting for the westbound number 66 shuttle at Chicago Avenue and Racine Avenue, a young man and woman seated on a bench at the bus stop are currently making out like it’s fucking Paris or something. The couple… The Onion Tweet This Post
NFL: Overtime Games To Be Decided By First Team To Do Something Really Fucking Awesome
Posted by admin on January 5th, 2013
NEW YORK—The NFL announced Monday that its owners have voted to change the league’s regular-season overtime rules, which now stipulate that games will be decided by whichever team is the first to make a really fucking awesome play. Tweet This Post
Furious Bleacher Report Editor Will Make Staff Rank Things All Fucking Night If He Has To
Posted by admin on December 10th, 2012
SAN FRANCISCO—Frustrated with the poor quality of lists the website’s writers have produced as of late, BleacherReport.com editor Eric Briggs threatened Monday to force the staff to rank things “all fucking night” if he had to. Tweet This Post
Turkish Actor Thinks He’s Cüneyt Fucking Arkin
Posted by admin on October 6th, 2012
ISTANBUL—The cast and crew of the Turkish film Arada confirmed this week that local actor Ahmet Demir, 28, is strutting around the set like he’s goddamned film superstar Cüneyt fucking Arkin or something. Tweet This Post
Tommy Lee Jones Tells Jimmy Fallon He Doesn’t Want To Play Any Of His Little Fucking Games
Posted by admin on September 28th, 2012
NEW YORK—Prior to his appearance on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon last week, actor Tommy Lee Jones informed the host that he had no intention of playing “any of [his] little fucking games,” according to sources at NBC. Tweet This Post
Insurance Company Celebrates 50 Billionth Fucking Over Of Customer
Posted by admin on September 27th, 2012
CANTON, OH—Overjoyed Cigna executives celebrated the health insurer’s 50 billionth fucking over of a customer Thursday, personally surprising 56-year-old spinal trauma victim Clyde Gershon with champagne, confetti, and hundreds of multicolored… Tweet This Post
Posted in Breaking News Tags: billionth, celebrates, Company, customer, Fucking, Insurance, Over No Comments »FLAGSTAFF, AZ—While gazing at the clouds on a perfect sunny day, Connie Themes, 25, asked her boyfriend what he was thinking about and holy shit was that the wrong fucking thing to ask.
Posted by admin on August 13th, 2012
FLAGSTAFF, AZ—While gazing at the clouds on a perfect sunny day, Connie Themes, 25, asked her boyfriend what he was thinking about and holy shit was that the wrong fucking thing to ask. Tweet This Post
