If you’re like me, you had no idea batshit insane right-wing radio host Michael Savage was still alive. I naturally assumed that by now his desiccated remains had been found on the floor of some rural Montana bunker, diary still in hand, with his last thoughts on intricate political conspiracies coordinated by moon men, vampires and Freddie Mercury written in blood on every page. But no—apparently he still has a radio show. And his theories about why Justice John Roberts betrayed all of conservatism might actually become a thing:
“Let’s talk about Roberts. I’m going to tell you something that you’re not going to hear anywhere else, that you must pay attention to. It’s well known that Roberts, unfortunately for him, has suffered from epileptic seizures. Therefore he has been on medication. Therefore neurologists will tell you that medication used for seizure disorders, such as epilepsy, can introduce mental slowing, forgetfulness and other cognitive problems. And if you look at Roberts’ writings you can see the cognitive dissociation in what he is saying.”
Well, yes. I still remember the Bush administration, when almost every cabinet resignation or other conservative slight was followed by a press room briefing or other high-placed rant on how so-and-so was obviously either bitter or crazy. It goes without saying that you would have to be hopped up on epilepsy medication to think that other people maybe ought to receive their goddamn epilepsy medication.
Now Savage’s—let’s call it “theory,” I suppose—has made to Fox News. Fox News Radio’s Todd Starnes (who already holds title for most frothing conservative reaction to yesterday’s ruling, with his announcement that we “are now living in the Occupied United States of America,” is taking it and running with it:
“[T]he reason people are stunned is because what John Roberts did. And there is growing estimation that he did this, uh, for political reasons, and not necessarily to follow the rule of law, which is troubling. We’ve seen other reports out there that suggest that perhaps some of Mr., you know the Chief Justice is on medication, and perhaps that might have influenced his decision-making, I don’t know. But I do know this, it was so out of character that you really have to wonder what really was going on.
Hey, we’ve seen reports, folks. And that’s not all the reports we’ve seen. In less mapped caves of wingnuttery, there are even darker suppositions that need supposing. So many suppositions are being supposed that I’m supposing supposition suppositories may be suspected:
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