So the 2012 presidential campaign is on the verge of losing it’s only housing historian. That’s right, Newton Leroy Gingrich is about to quit the campaign, and announce his intention of supporting Willard Mitt Romney. The press conference is scheduled to begin at 3 PM ET. Join us for the
discussionhilarity in the comments. We’ll track the event as it unfolds, and you watch here:
12:04 PM PT: Allegedly, Newt was scheduled to speak at 3:00PM, but he hasn’t started yet. Maybe he’s still working out the deal points with Romney before they sign the term sheet.
12:05 PM PT: SIREN: Okay, I’m getting a report from somewhere (maybe deep inside my head) that the hangup here is that Newt wants a commitment from Romney that he can be declared President of the Moon.
12:06 PM PT: Yeah, I know it’s only been six minutes or so since Newt was supposed to begin, but I’m getting impatient. I mean, he’s had marriages that didn’t even last this long.
12:15 PM PT: Looks like some folks are taking the stage at the Hilton in Arlington, Virginia, where Newt will announce his campaign’s acquisition.
12:13 PM PT: And Newt and Calista just took the stage.
12:16 PM PT: Newt looks like a cute and cuddly porcupine. And he talks with the “royal we” about his campaign. Normally I’d mock that, but Newt is crying right now, and it’s rude to mock a man when he’s crying.
12:15 PM PT: Well, he wasn’t totally crying. But he was choking up. Frankly.
12:18 PM PT: Newt’s thanking a ton of folks, because he won Georgia 156 counties to 3. Uh, yeah, because that’s the way they count things.
12:22 PM PT: Jeesh, Newt has an excuse for everything.
12:24 PM PT: Newt says he worked as a volunteer in the Bush administration. Why anyone would want to associate themselves with that mess…
12:28 PM PT: Newt is demonstrating why he lost. Total diarrhea of the mouth.
12:32 PM PT: Newt wants a romantic American future of meth abuse on the moon, or maybe his diarrhea of ideas just ran together in my head.
12:33 PM PT: This is the kind of speech where if you pay too much attention to it, you actually lose intelligence. So be careful out there folks.