A small word of warning: I am very, very tired of dealing with human stains like Mr. Todd Akin and his ilk, and so am not going to be very nice here, nor very lucid about it. Mea culpa.
At a Tuesday meeting with his Missouri constituents, Republican Rep. Todd Akin (yes, sigh, he’s yet another crackpot) was asked the very serious and not at all insane question of why President Obama hasn’t been impeached yet for, you know, stuff. Now, there are two ways to go with a question like this. One, you can calmly and gently remind your crackpot constituent that presidents of These United States ought not to just be impeached willy-nilly because you do not like them, or because you suspect them of being secretly Muslim, or because blah-blah-freaking-blah. Or two, you can agree with your batshit crazy constituent about what a travesty it is, and express great sadness that Congress won’t impeach this fellow for all these terrible things you’ve been imagining him doing because the Senate wouldn’t let you:
“[Y]ou’re never going to get something through the Senate. That doesn’t mean that at a certain point you just say enough, I don’t care enough about the Senate, duty calls us to just get up and just impeach this guy. And maybe he’s not quite gotten to the point where you’ve got the Republicans — basically all the Republican bloc is not quite mad enough for that.”
When Mr. Akin makes a statement about the Republican Party not being quite mad enough yet, forgive me for taking that in a way other than the way he meant it. Or maybe he indeed meant it that way. I’d say they’re as mad as a March hare on acid, personally.
The bar for impeachment of a sitting president seems to be getting lower by the year, but even still; seeing that the last said impeachment was for the high crime of lying about extramarital sexytimes (something that has never happened before or since, in Washington, and pay no attention to that Newt Gingrich fellow who I seem to recall was very, very put out by whole affair), you might wonder what it is that Congressman Jesus Q. Nutbar here thinks the current president of the United States has done to deserve impeachment. Well, it’s because of stuff, of course.
Obama, he said, “ignores the Constitution, he ignores the laws, he wants to impose all of the czars, he completely ignores the train wreck of the economy, which he’s causing with trillion-dollar-plus deficits every year you go along.”
You know what? I’m sick of these people. Have I mentioned recently that I’m sick of these people before? I have? Ah.
So Obama “ignores the Constitution” and “laws.” Well, that’s just peachy keen. Our last administration committed acts that some of their own effing lawyers considered war crimes, but we couldn’t possibly fault them for that. You’ve got the Republican candidates bragging about how they’d ignore laws all day long if they didn’t agree with them. (Newt: I’d shutter the whole damn 9th Circuit if they said things I didn’t like.) I’d be interested in seeing what parts of the Constitution Akin thinks Obama is ignoring, because the only ones I suspect our current president might be botching are the exact same ones our previous president lit fire to as well. I don’t think those are the parts Akin is referring to, though.
It is the bit about “imposing all the czars”, however, where Mr. Akin happily runs off the rails and then some. Czars. He’s proposing that Obama be impeached because Republicans started calling a bunch of very normal and boring government functionaries czars, and were suddenly upset that the administration was “imposing” them when all of the other past administrations of the country apparently put nobody in government that was not directly birthed from the noble gasses of Grover Norquist’s noble posterior. We’re talking about impeachment for the czars talking point. I wasn’t even aware there were still people alive who still were dumb enough to even cop to being faux-outraged at Washington “czars,” but once again, I have misunderestimated the depths of congressionally mandated stupidity.
Ignoring the economy? Sweet merciful crap, have you seen the lengths to which Congress has gone to avoid addressing one damn thing about the economy? Were you not there, Mr. Akin, when your party held up the entire government in their effort to extend deficit-extending tax cuts? If we’re going to start impeaching people for ignoring the dismal economy, I will make a list. And you’re on it, jackass.
Again, what is remarkable is that there just seems to be no lower bound on how outlandish the Republican Party can become, or how gullible, or how conspiracy-addled. People grumbling about impeaching the president for purely partisan reasons is the new normal. People ranting about “communists” in Congress is normal. Birtherism is now normal. The whole damn party has devolved into the sort of thing that used to be passed out in pamphlets written by crazy people in front of airports, back when we Americans were still allowed in airports, but we’re all supposed to go on our merry little way pretending that none of it is all that exceptional. What’s next, tattoos of Reagan punching hippies? Mass not-gay marriages? Can we please at least start drug testing these people before letting them write laws for us?
“He is a complete menace to our civilization,” he said. “The question is what’s the best way to get rid of him, I think probably at the ballot box next election, we need to get that done.”
This person is either high or crazy. I don’t care how nice your suit is, if your compass is so badly bent that now even someone like Barack Obama looks like a secret Muslim communist bent on destroying your way of life, you are deranged. A note to Mr. Akin’s staffers: Get this man some help. Don’t just sit there, call someone. Stage an intervention. Start going through his desk looking for suspicious-looking pills. Anything.
It should be noted that Akin followed up the Tuesday constituent meeting with, today, a conference call with ex-Rep. Tom “Still Appealing My Prison Sentence” DeLay to pray and talk about how liberals hate God and how good conservative convicted criminals like Tom DeLay are goodness and light and absolutely riddled with Jesusness and oh my effing eff I cannot believe how little shame this collection of dipshits has. If these are the best clowns we can come up with for governing our country, we are very, very screwed.
Blast from the Past. At Daily Kos on this date in 2008:
NEWSCASTER BOB: Good evening, and welcome to the news. A disturbing revelation tonight, as reports indicate the abusive treatment of prisoners in United States custody was specifically endorsed at the highest levels of government. Vice President Richard Cheney, then Secretary of State Colin Powell, National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, Attorney General John Ashcroft and CIA Director George Tenet specifically signed off on torture techniques like “waterboarding” that could be used on prisoners, including specific numbers of times some techniques could be used.
This contradicts frequent statements by the administration that these torture techniques were not used, and may have legal ramifications as –
PUNDIT 1: Bob, I’m going to have to break in here. We have breaking news that Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama today turned down a cup of coffee, asking for orange juice instead. Could this be the gaffe that brings down the Obama campaign? Let’s talk to our panel of interchangeable political experts.
PUNDIT 2: This is remarkable, Interchangeable Pundit 1. Can a man be president if he turns down a cup of coffee? I think that shows a remarkable elitism — just a shocking blunder, on his part. How will Obama connect with rural America if he doesn’t show respect for them and their beverages?
PUNDIT 3: I agree, Interchangeable Pundit 2. I mean, Obama is trying to court small town voters — where does he think he is, the Ritz? How many of these people does he think have ever heard of something called “orange juice?”
PUNDIT 1: Exactly, Pundit 3. I mean, you have to think he’s just offended so many of these folks. I wrote a column last year about how much good, decent rural Americans like their morning coffee. These people don’t know what “orange juice” is. They’ve never had it. To have some guy come in to their town and ask for “orange juice”, like he was a Prussian king or something — I mean, that’s really not going to go down well with these old fashioned, everyday yokels. Really, really a blunder. It really shows his lack of respect for these small town Americans. [...]